Hier mal ein paar Gedanken auf Englisch. Ich hatte ja schon mal vor längerer Zeit etwas in diese Richtung geschrieben, aber hier konnte ich es irgendwie nochmal deutlicher sagen. Es hat echt Spaß gemacht für Leweeza zu schreiben! Ich hoffe euch macht es auch beim Lesen Freude.
Have you ever asked a German person: „How are you?“ You probably got quite an honest answer, right? It’s because we really take that question seriously. It’s in our culture. We aren’t just „Well, thanks fine. And you?“ We are „Really good! I won the lottery today!“ or „I hate my life, I missed the bus twice!“
This said, I have found something interesting these days. Whenever people asked me how I was and my honest answer was: „Thank you, really good.“ they looked at me confused. As if they were thinking: „What is she hiding? Why isn’t she honest? She can’t just be good.“ But yes, there are days where I have said ‚yes‘ to some good things and I have said ‚no‘ to enough other things so I can work and live peacefully. Sometimes I have made some good choices and received some blessings and I’m just good and grateful. And I’m not afraid to say so anymore, because I am not playing that game anymore.
Because for too long my answers have been: „Well, yes, its kind of busy. Don’t know when I’ve eaten the last time. Didn’t sleep that much last week, too.“ and „Well yeah, lots on my list. I’m quite tired. But nothings for free, you know.“ or „You know, ministry is really hard. I mean there’s so much to do…“ And what I was really saying was: „See, they need me. I’m important! You know, without me, things wouldn’t work out for sure.“ But the truth is, that things would have worked out very well without me, but I wasn’t working out without them. I couldn’t live without the approval that working hard earned me.